Over the years I’ve learned what has become a very important lesson. I want to share this because it’s giving me patience with myself. Often, I feel like we treat others with a whole lot more kindness than we do ourselves. Why is that?!? I probably have been my biggest bully throughout the years, and we all know bullying is not ok!
I’ve had to learn and accept that I don’t have a magic wand to point and change the world around me. I can’t bippity boppity boo myself into a better mother, or better friend, or a better partner. I can’t magically be thinner or smarter than I was when I woke up this morning. Even when I know what changes I need to make to improve something about myself, I’ve learned I need to give myself time to change. I think understanding this has taken me years.
Knowing what I want to change is part of the battle, deciding it’s worth the work, that’s when the change can start. As I begin to accept I really am an adult, and there’s a need for me to make big-girl choices, I also get that change is a process. (I know, I’m 42 you’d think that the adulting thing would have sunk in a couple decades ago😉). Here’s the thing, changing one thing about how I go about my day can lead to a chain reaction affecting how I can use my time throughout the day. The mere thought of trying to figure out my schedule is enough to keep me from working to improve myself. Of course, the longer I put something off, the more of a 911 situation it generally becomes. This leads to me making myself feel like a bit of an idiot for not addressing the issue sooner. Let’s call that what it is, a serious downward spiral.
Over the years I’ve adapted K.I.S.S, keep it simple silly. I’m trying to take things and break them down into small manageable changes. Dieting is a good example. I know what needs to be done to get into shape. (Exercise 4 times a week, cardio on at least three days, weight training to build muscle and help my bones, no fried food or junk food, cut back on alcohol, soda etc.) If I tried to implement all of that into my week, I would need an overhaul of my daily routine. I’d have to think differently at almost every point in my day. That’s way too much, way too fast to even get started.
Instead, I’m looking for small changes, having my water bottle in plain view, working my 15 minutes of walking into my work day, cutting out fries and potato chips. These things won’t get me to my final goal, but they’ll get me on the right path. I can manage these small changes, which means I’m not mad or frustrated at the end of each day. The small changes make it easier to be kind to myself, letting me end my day feeling good about sticking to my new goals. After a few days this confidence grows, and I start looking for the next small change.
So far, this technique is working and maintaining some semblance of sanity at my house, woohoo! Not every day will be perfect but each day I can be a little better and a little stronger than the day before. I’m going to celebrate my good choices, remind myself to be kind to me and K.I.S.S. (keep it simple silly)!
*PS. K.I.S.S. really stands for keep it simple stupid, just a small change to lighten it up:)